he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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