Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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