I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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