Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We named our party play list daddy issues
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
