tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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