Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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