connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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