i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize