I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
