idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
