You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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