i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
