Three words: puerto rican gang bang
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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