just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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