I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
