Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
