Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
