I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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