Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
