guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she peed on how many people?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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