Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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