I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The power of my boobs compel you
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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