I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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