i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize