Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
