Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
