im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
