Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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