Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
