that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
