At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
