I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drake has all the answers
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
