I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
