we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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