True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
