I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
