I cannot find my penis.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
