Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize