Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who