The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dating After Heartbreak
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag