Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Randomize
Follow @tfln