no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat