Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Your cock deserves a montage
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now