we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
