So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Pants are for mortals
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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