Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
