Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
