We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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