i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
