I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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