So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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