best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
