if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
