physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
