Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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