If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
