Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize