Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize